Escapism on the web?

[louise90]

I was watching a chat show the other day and there was a girl of 14 being interviewed. Her mother had got her on there because she said her daughter was spending all day on the Internet, only coming out of her room to wash, eat, etc.

When asked why she was spending so much time online she said it was because that the people she spoke to made her feel special. Obviously, she has a very low self-esteem and I reckon doesn't have very many friends. She said her mother doesn't pay her any attention and loves her sister more.

Speaking as a person who isn't very confident when it comes to 'real' people so to speak, I can sort of understand how this girl feels. Although I'm not that extreme in spending all of my time on the net, it does make me feel better speaking to people I don't know. Do you understand?

What are your thoughts?

[Mark]

I do know what you mean. Thing is, though, that the 'net provides a medium where people are more likely to be 'open' with each other and actually allow themselves to know and be known to an even greater extent than in person, in some ways. In a sense, I've wanted to meet the friends I've met on the 'net even more than those I might see on the street. If someone rubs you the wrong way on the 'net, you just 'hang up' or disconnect, whereas in person, the dictates of good taste and politeness cause us to linger in unpleasant situations, if you know what I mean. Plus, the 'net gives one the added advantage of making new friends one probably would not have had the opportunity to otherwise meet. To me, that's a blessing. On the other hand, younger people can get obsessed and should be monitored perhaps to avoid their personality becoming warped or not fully developed through a lack of 'real person' interaction and dealing in the 'real' world.

[louise90]

Yes, you're right, Mark. I've certainly made a few friends on the net I probably wouldn't have done in the real world. I once met a lady from the net and luckily, we got on really well in person too. And, of course, I've met Dave too, who is just a gem, isn't he?! But on the downside, I do sometimes think that people find the net a security blanket of sorts as we are hiding behind a screen, aren't we?!

[Dabbit]

I think we only have to look at the horry stories of child abduction to see how evil the internet can be. That said my own daughter met her boyfirend online and they have been going out together for 6 months or more now and are very hapy with each other. The elder one has just started a friendship (Telephone every single night for at least 1 hour in addition to chatting online) with a pleasent young man called Neil (I have spoken to him on the phone and he sounds nice)...But I reckon you can never really know anyone until you live with them...

[Mark]

Well, I don't look at as so much 'hiding behind a screen' as much as I think of it as 'casting the net wider' (no pun intended....well, maybe...).

[sandy]

Maybe it's because we are a vain people and on the net we dont have to hang our looks out there to be judged. We are judged by what we type. Our first impression is our personality, not wherther we are tall, short, skinny, obese, blonde, or any of those other first observations we make about people.

[Mark]

I guess I'm backward Sandy, but that's the same way I've always judged people in person. Looks are nice, but very temporary - character and personality are long-term.

[Fluffy]

Ah yes Mark, but there are many people out there who don't judge by the same rules.

[Dabbit]

Mark thats a neat way to think I like that...

[Fluffy]

Unfortunately the media does promote body image as being the way to judge people, something
I find deplorable.

[Mark]

Yes, the lovely fourth estate, God bless 'em and their pointed little heads and even smaller minds. They just don't have a really good handle on what's really important in this life.

[Fluffy]

I feel that, in general, people are very shallow these days. Look at the whole "celebrity" circus -
where people who do very little are regarded as famous and thus climb on the bandwagon of
"stars".

[Mark]

And what gets me going, fluffy, is the enormous inequity in salaries paid these 'celebrities' and sports 'stars' compared to our police, firefighters, emergency personnel, teachers and military, etc. It's disgraceful!